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23. Jan 2006

George Bush is a saint

Bush reading
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside Washington, D.C. as part of his campaign to win back American voters. Bush´s press secretary made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him, "We´ve been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush´s response to the hurricane and the like. We´d gladly make a contribution to the church of $1,000,000 if, during your sermon, you´d say President Bush is a saint."

The Bishop was initially reluctant but thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church is in desperate need of funds. I will agree to do it."

Bush pompously showed up on the next Sunday looking especially smug, and as the service progressed the Bishop began his homily:

"George Bush is petty, a self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Methodist I´ve ever personally known.

But compared to Dick Cheney and some members of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."